Getting competitive

Make a note - the It's A Bury Knockout takes place on Hardwick Heath on Sunday, July 14.

It's a great day out and you'll have great fun - I reckon Smiling Assassin is entering in an Abbeycroft Leisure side so you'll see what I've had to endure all these weeks.

All funds from the day will go to the Bury Free Press Beat It! appeal, so please support it.

The real competition, however, takes place a few weeks before July 14. I'll be at peak fitness by then so I've hit on the idea of an It's A Barry Knockout. No, Smiling Assassin isn't going to sock me with a pair of boxing gloves (though heaven knows, I'm sure she'd like to). No, this is about me and she competing over a few easy events to see who gets bragging rights for the remainder of the year. It's like Man U vs Man City, Spurs v Arsenal, Editor v Assassin.

The good thing is - I get to choose the events.

Now, I'm okay at chess (I know the Najdorf Variation and the Sicilian Defence). I can pretty much defeat allcomers at Mariokart on the Nintendo64. And I'm a whizz when it comes to juggling. But I'm thinking Smiling Assassin might expect something a little more strenuous.

So, I propose three of the following:

- A gym row-off (2,000m, fastest wins);

- A 50m race in the Abbeycroft Leisure pool;

- 100m sprint on the Abbeycroft track (that's me celebrating above - I'm built for speed not endurance after all);

- A game of squash;

- 9 holes of golf.

Over to you Smiling Assassin - you get to pick.

I'll confirm the details next week.

Meantime, check out the real It's A Bury Knockout here http://www.buryknockout.com/